Running a family can be likened to running a business in some respects. Your essential assets are the lovely and nourishing people who belong to your family unit, while the projected profit is always love and well-being, not to mention happy shared memories. That said, managing people, keeping everyone happy, being responsible, and managing unexpected life scenarios can apply here in business.
That said, unlike business, you rarely get to take a day off. For this reason, the head of a family unit can find themselves pulled in many directions at once, and find it hard to know where to go next. As we’ve seen with even royal families, a family unit can be just as fragmented or have disagreements no matter where you’re from.
Perhaps most people in your family get on just fine, but you find it hard to care for so many people simultaneously, especially when multiple generations may look to you for guidance. If you feel burnt out as the head of a family, you rarely have an HR support professional to help you with your next steps. Let’s consider, then, what your best path forward could be.
Delegate Responsibilities to Other Family Members
Sometimes, you just need to ask for help from other family members you trust. That might mean asking your siblings to help out with your elderly parent one day a week, or to take care of specific tasks that need to be planned in advance.
For example, it may be that your sibling or child takes your parent to their monthly clinic visit as this is when you’ll be working. Delegation means reliability, scheduling these tasks correctly, and making it clear what has to be done and when. For the most part, family members are happy to help out and know when they can lend a hand. It’s not about forcing them to do it or being condemnatory, but clear and consistent about when you need help, what needs to be done, and how to do it, and also showing genuine gratitude when it’s done. This way, families can thrive.
Set Clear Boundaries and Personal Time
It’s essential to set clear boundaries and personal time you can take for yourself. Of course, sometimes life may mean you have to put rest on the back burner, but still, taking these moments where you can is important.
For example, once every three weeks you might ask your sibling to look after your children so you can go for a meal out with your partner, or simply take a nice weekend break a little less frequently. In exchange, you may offer the same kind of comfort to them as well.
It’s also important to know where boundaries should be open. For example, if you have teen children or teen nephews and nieces, you might allow them to come for you about anything except for when they might be in disagreement with their parents, as you don’t want them to play off certain family members against one another.
This kind of boundary-setting can help you set the social dynamics more capably, and in the long run that will ensure the health of all involved.
Consider Professional Assistance Where Appropriate
Burnout can come from many directions, but it’s also important to identify when it comes from a problem that you’re not entirely equipped to handle. This is absolutely no slight on your capabilities as a family lead nor as a person, only that sometimes, it’s good to reach out to the services that can actually help you out.
For example, assisted living services that can help your elderly parent more easily live in their home without you needing to be there around the clock can be tremendously worthwhile. Not only does it free you up time, but delivers a consistent standard of care and oversight that you might not have the time or even skills to invest in yourself, especially with so much else you have to manage.
The same can be said for helping a child with learning difficulties or special needs attend a school correctly equipped to help them, even sponsoring their use of a morning coach that can appropriately conduct the school run for them each morning. Where appropriate, these professional services can be a lifeline for family heads who may have a million and one responsibilities to keep up with. It really does make a profound difference in the long run to have these services available.
Streamline Family Activities and Commitments
Most business managers know that the only way you can adequately handle several different people, all with their own personalities and goals, is to make use of a schedule. This can work wonders for your own family as well. No matter if you use a digital calendar or write dates down on a board on your kitchen fridge, what matters is streamlining the events in which your family members meet and connect.
After all, the head of a family should be interested in keeping people together and on good terms, and family events are a great way to do that. From barbecue events in your garden to birthday and festive celebrations, bringing people together, inviting them in advance, and making accommodations where necessary (like allowing your cousins to stay at your house in advance of your child’s wedding) can bring people together.
When you streamline these activities and they’re a little larger, you also have fewer people and places to manage throughout the year. That can lessen your load, and it also gives people the means to plan around your events.
Reevaluate Your Work-Life Balance
In some cases, it may be that work takes up much more of your time than you’d like. Of course, we’re not going to suggest you just switch jobs or do anything drastic, as this is your career and most people need their jobs to keep their family functional.
That said, certain measures could help. Negotiating a day where you work from home might help you break up your time more easily, while perhaps neglecting a promotion that will require more of your schedule can be appropriate for some people.
In some cases, you might also ask family members to help out with the household costs, especially if they’ve been living there for free to some extent and are of age to get a job and work. These kinds of plans can help you be realistic and ask others to help you as much as you help them, which should be no problem for most healthy familial relationships, even if some teenagers may require a little convincing to accept.
Explore Stress-Relief Techniques and Hobbies
Ultimately, you have to deal with your stress. Everyone has it, and the more responsibilities you have, the more they tend to develop. For this reason, baking in stress relief as part of your schedule is nothing but helpful.
That might involve ten minutes of meditation in the middle of the day. Your exercise may also help you bust stress throughout the week, perhaps through activities like yoga. Of course, getting involved in a healthy sleep schedule that absolutely helps you avoid feeling frayed at the edges can be important.
If you’re having chronic issues with stress and it’s starting to affect your mental well-being or even temper, it can be very important to visit your doctor or mental health professional. Sometimes, you just have to be realistic about the help you need, especially because burnout rarely gets better without rest and care.
With this advice, we hope you can find a healthier new direction even with so many familial responsibilities to manage.
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